songs for adeline

tears

2006-01-08T12:01:00.000+11:00

little boy, your cap’s pulled over your ears, I can feel your shame
why do you feel that your dreams are just so foolish?
but I see your heart, the cruel hard way that its had to swallow its pride
the way you found out that her beautiful smile wasn’t meant for you, boy

how do you manage the conversation, those gorgeous eyes?
when the earth refuses to swallow you, or let you disappear?

the blinding tears are on the inside,
you can never smile away the pain

little girl, your tears saved up for the pillow I can feel your pain
why do you cling to the dreams that only trample all over you?
you gorgeous princess, you’ve been fooled into thinking your beauty doesn’t light up the world
throw off the shroud and the lies that are painting your fairytale

how do you manage the conversation, those distant eyes?
when the moonlight refuses to dance with you,
you’re standing all alone.

the blinding tears are the inside
you can never smile away the pain

freedom

2006-01-08T12:00:00.000+11:00

and after all my years here
i would say without a doubt
that I would choose
freedom over love

so weary of this hovel
this oppression, this fatigue
these black black clouds
that keep on rolling in

cos the sunshine does not reach me here
it cannot pierce these walls cannot take me far away

what are we to do now?

the blindfold we call love
just drowns our ears with its melody
I’d rather hear the
bluebirds and the rain

love may paint blue skies
to make hearts soar, but it cannot free
my corner of despair
keeps suffocating me

like grease this darkness clings to me
it’s smeared all over me, it plugs me up, i cannot breathe

what are we to do now?

throw me

2006-01-08T11:58:00.000+11:00

you can talk to me, but just let me be
overwhelm your desire to reach
out to me, to care for me
you’ll only make me want to believe

oh but we can’t have that
hope will only tear me apart
just let me be

i’d rather you throw me overboard
oh just free your heart and let me hide away alone

there’s no need to feign, how was your day
but I appreciate your delayed goodbyes
and sweet hellos, the gentle throes
of joy do you know you share with me

oh but we can’t have that
hope will only tear this apart
just let me be

i’d rather you throw me overboard
oh just free your heart and let me hide away alone

wandering over here

2006-01-08T11:57:00.000+11:00

wandering over here, i see you crying
it’s no longer hard to smile, to make them all believe
that all is well in paradise now, there’s nothing to fix here

you don’t have to believe me
but i am not here to be breezing out
i’m here to hold you, close, i’m here to stay

why wake up in the morning, why will yourself to sleep
you wonder what it’d be like, to not have your heart be aching so
as you swallow disappointments too large, too jagged, to be sliding down

you don’t have to believe me
but i am not here to be breezing out
i’m here to hold you, close, i’m here to stay

i love you, i’m not letting you go
a love since always, i’m not letting you go
if you runaway, i’ma gonna carry you home
i’m here to hold you, close,
i’m here to stay
with you

sleeping

2006-01-08T11:55:00.000+11:00

i’m sleeping with a beautiful world,
but her promises are breaking me, ugly though it sounds
and whilst i’m busy making voodoo dolls,
a crown of thorns is now ending the affair

my dear dear Jesus, i love you, but i don’t know why
you did think it worth your while
to save me, claim me as yours

i’ve discovered this sensational place
of dizzy heights and ecstasy, who would want to leave?
with these spectacles and velvety gloves
a bloodsoaked cross is now fine to see and feel

my dear dear Jesus, i love you, but i don’t know why
you did think it worth your while
to save me, claim me as yours

no way out

2006-01-08T11:53:00.000+11:00

what if there be no way out of here?
here where sunlight’s always from the other side

what if i be a forever runaway?
no one able, willing, to be healing me?

no, the pitiful despair
lies with me keeping closing my eyes,
refusing to see

how i lay down and cry
tune into darkness, delude away my soul
keep pining for another love,
another god to take me away from here

but what if there is a way, that i can, out of here
here’s just the (third) place, see it? illusory...

i have been freed, but i can choose to see
i’m still in chains, still walled, still i am stuck in here

no, the pitiful despair
lies with me keeping closing my eyes,
refusing to see

how i lay down and cry
tune into darkness, delude away my soul
keep pining for another love,
another god to take me away from here

a million times

2006-01-08T11:52:00.000+11:00

i’ve said to you a million times, i’m sorry Lord, please let me try again
but i was thirsty, lord, i said to you, i was so hungry, lord, it was consuming me

i only do what i
feel like doing, i forget that’s
never what a child of the
light would do

so since you’ve saved me lord
made me beautiful
transform my mind
batter down my feelings of old

you keep on loving me
please don’t stop holding me
saving me, though i
i’m keeping on hurting you, Lord

i’ve let you down deliberately, i pretend i don’t grieve to gain
though you made me to be beautiful, i’m still hungry for the ugly

i only do what i
feel like doing, i forget that’s
never what a child of the
light would do

so since you’ve saved me lord
made me beautiful
transform my mind
batter down my feelings of old

you keep on loving me
please don’t stop holding me
saving me, though i
i’m keeping on hurting you, Lord

all this dreaming

2006-01-08T11:51:00.000+11:00

i’m through with all this dreaming,
all this falling apart
how i’m over all this searching, believing
in new beginnings that lead to nowhere

what was this hoping i believe?
repeating mustn’t give in again
it’s a chasing after the wind
it’s not how to prevail

i’m through with all this unappropriated
freedom that keeps me inside
i want to go to where the sunshine’s from
no in light need to enter

why clamber i assuredly?
allow “hallelujah”s, “these shackles are free”s?
them conceding? yes i believe
so easily i down

if i’m to shine the freedom lights
leave my fiascos of good intentions
and the blind consoling pleasure ties
i gotta see, i gotta use my Jesus doorways

open possibilities i make redundant
inevitably is choosing not to choose them
oh, my believing all the wrong say’s
has led me to behave
in all the wrong ways....

adeline

2006-01-08T11:50:00.000+11:00

oh Adeline, when you were young
do you remember how the sunshine
came out to dance, dance with you?

oh Adeline, your heart is drowning
you are at sea – alone, you’re spiralling down

times aren’t changing
you’ve been down here before
dreams are fading
i know it hurts
it hurts so bad inside

oh Adeline, there was a time
it wasn’t duty to feel happy
not a chore to smile away

oh Adeline, the days are passing you by
you used to try – something has broken inside

times aren’t changing
you’ve been down here before
dreams are fading
i know it hurts
it hurts so bad inside

so you give in

2006-01-08T11:49:00.000+11:00

so you give in, once again you fall away
what did you cling to, this time?
what didn’t prevent you from stumbling?

so you reach out, once again you hold out your hand
why couldn’t you slake your thirst?
why was the hunger still insatiable, again?

oh this is not the way back home
to quell the storm, to keep you going forwards
kingdom wars need more than courage
they need more than faith to bring us home

so you turn back, once again to familiar highs
what needed escaping today?
what made those promises irresistible?

so you pursue, once again you chase your desire
why did you swallow that line?
why are you thirsty, you’re still unsatisfied, again?

oh this is not the way back home
to quell the storm, to keep you going forwards
kingdom wars need more than courage
they need more than faith to bring us home

oh oh don’t cry, open your eyes, baby, don’t cry
don’t let the darkness, cloud you in

man overboard

2006-01-08T11:48:00.000+11:00

the longer we stay here,
the more i don’t think we will make it
the desperate way we long for home
we are hoping, we are falling

there’s a man overboard
there’s a lady here with a broken heart
her tears are burning down her heaven
and he is crying for home

it’s morning and the day is breaking
clouds descend to choke out the sunshine
when night falls and sleep should beckon
your mind is buckling down, through the terror

a boy is trembling in the the roar of traffic
a girl clutching roses and a shattered mirror
her dreams are fuelling more of those tears
and he is waiting to collide

the longer we stay here
the more i don’t think we will make it
through...

i try

2006-01-08T11:47:00.000+11:00

i try to stand my ground
hold on a little longer
just to be cut down

I try to run far away
far as my heart can take me
just to be run down

and i wonder, is this how it ends?
do i want to be to believe?

i try and sit and talk with you
dispell some of the infinity
that stands between us

i try to help you understand
unravel all that entangles you
all that blinds you to me

and i wonder, is this how it ends?
do i want to be to believe?

don't let me

2006-01-08T11:46:00.000+11:00

Lord i feel now downtrodden, helplessly enslaven within
i need to be, now, more than ever, brave for you, brave before this darkness fades

Jesus, don’t let me believe what i’m feeling now, must move me, surely, inevitably
lay my eyes now on invisible things, so my heart won’t go stumbling astray

I need to want to want you now, cos i belong to you
when i stop wanting you i fall away, and i don’t want to fall away
this time again, this time now, this now

i’ve always been a waiter, for an easier time, a better day to stand my ground
oh, the lies that i bed, oh, the way i hide, the time is now, to be brave for you

Jesus, don’t let me believe what i’m feeling now, must move me, surely, inevitably
lay my eyes now on invisible things, so my heart won’t go stumbling astray

I need to want to want you now, cos i belong to you
when i stop wanting you i fall away, and i don’t want to fall away
this time again, this time now, this now

fighters

2006-01-08T11:45:00.000+11:00

we were strong, we were fighters,
we were dreamers when we were young
things will never be like that – now, never
that heaven soared so high
to us, it’d slipped away

the crowding despair
keeps washing over
incredible dreams

we were true, we were courageous,
we were faithful in times gone by
things have never been like that – now, never
we try to suffocate our loss
with the pleasurable

the crowding despair
keeps washing over
incredible dreams

home will always feel too far away
if our wrongs keep piling on wrongs
and if everywhere we look
our agains and agains,
in eternal replay
if the wreckage of our million once mores
entomb us, blind our faith

if our crowding despair
keeps washing over
these incredible dreams

tonight, tonight, tonight we fall

dark dominion

2006-01-08T11:43:00.000+11:00

do you believe your hope will last forever?
there is such a dark dominion here

i know you try so hard to believe the sun will shine again
even though the darkness surrounds you

we spend all of our lives
we try to fill, fill, fill these holes we cannot see
but while it’s not over yet,
hold onto me, it’s not over yet, at all

fool

2006-01-08T11:36:00.000+11:00

is it too late to say that I
that I want to belong
and go home with you

to where everything
is just so beautiful
where there’ll be no more poison rain

and no more emptiness or hopelessness
no more dreaming about being beautiful
I’m just a fool for deliverance if faith is just the journey

is it naïve to think that I
that I’m going to make it
another step of these thousand miles

when all I know
is falling, falling
and this blinding panic inside

the dizzy heights of emptiness and hopelessness
and endless dreaming about being beautiful
I’m just a fool for deliverance if faith is just the journey

but I know where I belong, I’m not a fool for deliverance
because home, I know home, and home is real to me